A friend of mine was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

He said, ‘You need to join the Army of the Lord!’

My friend said, ‘I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.’

The pastor said, ‘How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?’

He whispered back, ‘I’m in the secret service.’

Loyal Jones and Billy Edd Wheeler, ea., Hometown Humor, USA (Little Rock, Ark.: August House, 1991), 101.