Category Archives: General

Jewish Youths Visit Israel

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture.
When the son returned, he said, “Papa, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity.”
“Oy vey,” said the father. “What have I done?” He took his problem to his best friend, Ike.
“Ike,” he said, “I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian. What can I do?”
“Funny you should ask,” said Ike. “I too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi.”
So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi.
“Funny you should ask,” said the rabbi. “I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. What is happening to our young people?”
And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons. As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the heavens:

“Funny you should ask,” said the Voice. “I, too, sent my Son to Israel . . .”

The Bishop And The Boy

A bishop was coming to stay at a rector’s house for the night. The rector’s eight year old son who was excited about the important guest, asked his father if he could take the bishop his tea in the morning. The rector agreed but told his son that he must knock on the door and say, “It’s the boy, my lord. It is time to get up.”
On his way upstairs the nervous boy was clutching the cup and saucer and practising his words. He knocked on the door and the bishop asked, “Who is it?”
The boy replied at the top of his voice, “It’s the Lord, my boy. Your time is up!”

A Duck Hunter

A duck hunter took his new hunting retriever out on its first hunt. Soon he shot a duck that fell into the lake. The dog walked over the water picked up the duck and brought it back to his master.
The hunter was flabbergasted! He shot another duck. Once again, while he rubbed his eyes in disbelief, the dog walked over the water and retrieved the duck.
Hardly daring to believe what he had seen he asked his neighbour to go hunting with him the next day. Once again each time he or his neighbour shot a duck, the dog would walk out and bring the bird in.
The man said nothing and neither did his neighbour. Finally he could contain himself no longer and he blurted out, “did you notice anything strange about that dog”
The neighbour scratched his head and finally said, ‘Come to think of it I did, The son of a gun can’t swim.”

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods

“What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path.
Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out: “Oh my God!…”
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying,
“You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer?”
The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?” “Very well,” said the voice.
The light went out.
And the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke,
“Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful.”