Category Archives: School


A teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

“Here is the situation,” she said.

“A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

“His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?”

A little girl raised her hand and suggested, “To draw out all his savings?”
Quoted from funny(at) email list

Excuses For Missing School

“Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.”

“Please excuse Brian for being. It was his father’s fault.”

“Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.”

“Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.”

“Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.”

Pastor Vogel, Sermon: R.S.V.P. to the Gospel