All posts by SandyM

Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from Noah’s Ark:

Christianity, Noah's Ark

One — Don’t miss the boat.
Two — Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three — Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.
Four — Stay fit. When you’re 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five — Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six — Build your future on high ground.
Seven — For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.
Eight — Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine — When you’re stressed, float a while.
Ten — No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting.

funny@net153.com mail list

A Struggling Student

Christianity, Church

There was once a college student who was struggling in many areas of his life. He spent a great deal of his time feeling angry and frustrated. When he could stand it no longer, he went to the dim and seldom-used chapel on campus. He paced up and down the aisles, slapping the back of the empty pews. He yelled, he cried, and he raged at God.

“God you created the world … what could you possibly have been thinking? Look at the problems people face. Look at the pain, suffering, and hunger. Look at the neglect, the waste, the abuse. Everywhere I look, I see messed-up people, hurting people, lonely people!”‘ The young man ranted and raved on and on.

Finally, exhausted, he sat in the front pew and looked hopelessly at the cross. Its tarnished surface reflected the dusty sunlight filtering in through the stained glass windows. “It’s all such a mess! This world you created is nothing but a terrible mess! Why even I could make a world better than this one!”

And then the young man heard a voice in the silence of that dusty chapel that made his eyes open wide and his jaw drop.

`And that is exactly what I want you to do.”‘

Hot Illustrations for Youth Talks – Wayne Rice

Coals Church and Christianity

Christianity, Church, Committment

D. L. Moody was visiting a prominent Chicago citizen when the idea of church membership and involvement came up.

“I believe I can be just as good a Christian outside the church as I can be inside it,” the man said.

Moody said nothing. Instead, he moved to the fireplace, blazing against the winter outside, removed one burning coal, and placed it on the hearth.

The two men sat together and watched the ember die out.

“I see,” the other man said.

Keith Long, Room to Grow (Hendrickson, 1999), quoted in Men of Integrity (3.2)

i-Share Evangelism Video

Christianity, Conversion, Cross, Easter, Evangelism, Good Friday, YouTube Videos

The evangelism tool for our media generation. i-Share – The Gospel visualized on your screen or on your iPod and in multiple languages. i-Share is a new evangelism tool meant to help individuals, youth groups, mission trip participants and beyond share their faith in a new and relevant way. The i-Share video can be used in a public setting in your favorite presentation software or personally in your own video iPod or similar device. The i-Share also comes in more than one language!! By using the i-Share video mission trip participants are able to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ no matter the language barrier.

Someone Else

Christian Character, Church, Discipleship, Hidden Talents

We are all saddened to learn this week of the death of one of our church’s most valuable members, Someone Else. Someone’s passing created a vacancy that will be difficult to be. Else has been with us for many years, and for every one of those years, Someone did far more than a normal person’s share of the work. Whenever leadership was mentioned, this wonderful person was looked to for inspiration as well as results: Someone Else can work with that group.” Whenever there was a job to do, a class to teach, or a meeting to attend, one name was on everyone’s list- Someone Else. “Let Someone Else do it” was a common refrain heard throughout the church. It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the largest givers in the church. Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed Someone Else would make up the difference. Someone Else was a wonderful person, sometimes appearing superhuman; but a person can only do so much. Were the truth known, everybody expected too much of Someone Else. Now Someone Else is gone! We wonder what we are going to do. Someone Else left a wonderful example to follow, but who is going to follow it? Who is going to do the things Someone Else did? Remember-we can’t depend on Someone Else anymore!

From email Illustration List

The Long Silence

Christ, Cross, Good Friday, Judgement, Sacrifice

At the end of time, billions of people were scattered on a great plain before God’s throne. Most shrank back from the brilliant light before them. But some groups near the front talked heatedly – not with cringing shame, but with belligerence.

“Can God judge us? How can he know about suffering?” Snapped a pert young brunetter. He ripped open a sleeve to reveal a tattooed number from a Nazi Concentration Camp. “We endured terror … beatings … torture … death!”

In another group a Negro boy lowered his collar. “What about this?” he demanded, showing an ugly rope burn. “Lynched for no crime but being black!”

In another crowd, a pregant schoolgirl with sullen eyes. “Why should I suffer?” She murmured. “It wasn’t my fault.”

Far out across the plain were hundreds of such groups. Each had a complaint about against God for the evil and suffering he had permitted in the world. How lucky God was to live in heaven where all was sweetness and light, where there was no weeping or fear, no hunger or hatred. What did God know of all that men had been forced to endure in this world? For God leads a pretty sheltered life, they said.

So each of these groups sent forth their leader, chosen because they had suffered the most. A Jew, a person from Hiroshima, a horribly deformed arthritic, thalidomide child.

In the centre of the plain they consulted with each other. At last they were ready to present their case. It was rather clever. Before God could be qualified to be their judge, he must endure what they had endured. Their decision was that God should be sentenced to live on earth – as a man!

Let him be born a Jew. Let the legitimacy of the birth be doubted.

Give him a work so difficult that even his family will think him our of this mind when he tries to do it.

Let him be betrayed by his closest friends.

Let him face false charges, be tried by a prejudiced jury and convicted by a cowardly judge

Let him be tortured.

At the last, let him see what it means to be terribly alone.

Then let him die so that there can be no doubt that he died.

Let there be a great host of witnesses to verify it.

As each leader announced his portion of the sentence, loud murmurs of approval went up from the throng of people assembled. When the last had finished pronoucing sentence, there was a long silence. Nobody uttered another word. No one moved.
For suddenly all knew that God had already served his sentence.

The Empty Bird Cage

Christ, Cross, Easter, Jesus, Sacrifice

There once was a man named George Thomas, a pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning, he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit.

Several eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak. “I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, ” What you got there son?”

“Just some old birds,” came the reply. “What are you gonna do with them?” I asked.

“Take ’em home and have fun with ’em,” he answered. “I’m gonna tease ’em and pull out their feathers to make ’em fight. I’m gonna have a real good time.”

“But you’ll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do then?”

“Oh, I got some cats,” said the little boy. “They like birds. I’ll take ’em to them.”

The pastor was silent for a moment. “How much do you want for those birds, son?”

“Huh? Why, you don’t want them birds, mister. They’re just plain old field birds. They don’t sing and they ain’t even pretty!”

“How much?” the pastor asked again.

The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, “$10.” The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten-dollar bill. He placed it in the boy’s hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.

The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.

Well, that explained the empty birdcage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.

“One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. “Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn’t resist. Got ’em all!”
“What are you going to do with them?” Jesus asked.

Satan replied, “Oh, I’m gonna have fun! I’m gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I’m gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I’m really gonna have fun!”

“And what will you do when you get done with them?” Jesus asked.

“Oh, I’ll kill ’em,” Satan glared proudly.

“How much do you want for them?” Jesus asked.

Oh, you don’t want those people. They ain’t no good. Why, you’ll take them and they’ll just hate you. They’ll spit on you, curse you and kill you!! You don’t want those people!!

“How much?” He asked again.

Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, “All your tears, and all your blood.”

Jesus said, “DONE!” Then He paid the price.

The pastor picked up the cage, he opened the door, and he walked from the pulpit.

From the Sermon Fodder Email List

A Frightening Alternative

Christ, Jesus

“We are faced with a frightening alternative. The man we are talking about was (and is) just what he said or else a lunatic or something worse. Now it seems to me obvious that he was neither a lunatic nor a fiend; and consequently, however strange or terrifying or unlikely it may seem, I have to accept the view that He was and is the Son of God. God has landed on this enemy occupied world in human form.”

C.S. Lewis

Our Greatest Need

Christ, Christmas, Cross, Forgivenness, Jesus

If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent us an educator; If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist; If our greatest need had been money, God would have sent us an economist; If our greatest need had been pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer; But our greatest need was forgiveness, so God sent us a Savior.