There was a very rich man who was just about to die and he wanted to take some of his wealth with him. So he started negotiations with God about the matter. God was not sure as it had never been done before and he did not want to set a precedence. Finally after long talks God reluctantly agreed to allow him to bring his wealth to heaven.
Just a few days before he died the rich man converted all his money into gold bullion. He died and the funeral home made sure that the suitcases containing the gold bullion went with him. He arrived at the Pearly Gates with his suitcases and there was Peter. Peter told him he could not bring the suitcases into heaven. But the man said he had already spoken to God and he had said it was OK. So Peter got on the God phone and sure enough it was true. So Peter was curious as to what was so valuable that the man wanted to bring it into heaven. Peter said, “Could I look in the suitcases?”
So the man opened the suitcases and Peter exclaimed, “You brought paving stones to heaven!”

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, “What’s that?” Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.
When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped
their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their seats.
Finally, the banker said, “Preacher, why did you ask us to come?”
The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, “Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I want to go.”