Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates of heaven St. Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances of education on earth. To get into heaven he had to answer 3 questions:
1)name two days of the week that begin with “T”.
2)How many seconds are in a year?
3) What is God’s first name?
Forrest thought for a moment then answered. The two days of the week that start with “T” are Today and Tomorrow. There are 12 seconds in a year, and God has two names, Andy and Howard.”
St. Peter said, “Ok I’ll buy the today and tomorrow even though that’s what I expected. But how are there 12 seconds in a year?
“Forest answered, “January 2nd, February 2nd……”
St. Peter replied, “Ok, I give, but what about Gods first name?
“Forrest answered St. Peter by saying, “Well, from the song….Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own. Plus the prayer says Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name….” Saint Peter let him in without another word.

A man who had recently come to faith was explaining to a friend what it was like to be a Christian. He said, “It is as if there were two dogs inside me and they are always fighting.”
“Which one wins?” asked the friend.
“It depends which one I feed,” he replied.

A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to God. “Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God is great!” he yelled without worrying whether anyone heard him or not.

Shortly after, along came a man who had recently completed some studies at a local university. Feeling himself very enlightened in the ways of truth and very eager to show this enlightenment, he asked the boy about the source of his joy.

“Hey” asked the boy in return with a bright laugh, “Don’t you have any idea what God is able to do? I just read that God opened up the waves of the Red Sea and led the whole nation of Israel right through the middle.”

The enlightened man laughed lightly, sat down next to the boy and began to try to open his eyes to the “realities” of the miracles of the Bible. “That can all be very easily explained. Modern scholarship has shown that the Red Sea in that area was only 10-inches deep at that time. It was no problem for the Israelites to wade across.”

The boy was stumped. His eyes wandered from the man back to the Bible laying open in his lap. The man, content that he had enlightened a poor, naive young person to the finer points of scientific insight, turned to go. Scarcely had he taken two steps when the boy began to rejoice and praise louder than before. The man turned to ask the reason for this resumed jubilation.

“Wow!” exclaimed the boy happily, “God is greater than I thought! Not only did He lead the whole nation of Israel through the Red Sea, He topped it off by drowning the whole Egyptian army in 10 inches of water!”