All posts by salt@mathesonuk.com

Dear Sir

There was a famous correspondance in The Times under the title of ‘What’s wrong with the world?’ Probably the most penetrating of all the letters was from G.K. Chesterton:
Dear Sir
I am
Your sincerely,
G.K. Chesterton.
That is precisely the answer. The heart of the human problem is the problem of the heart. People have a variety of theories about ‘what is wrong with the world?’ but no one can truthfully answer the question until he can say eith honesty, ‘Dear Sir, I am.’
Christ described human nature in these words; ‘From the inside , out of man’s heart come evil thoughts, acts of fornication, of theft, murder, adultery, ruthless greed and malice; fraud, indecency, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly; these evil things all come from inside, and they defule a man. (Mk 7:21-23)
David Watson, My God is Real, p26

Psychoanalysed

I went to the psychiatrist to be psychoanalysed
To find out why I killed the cat and blackened my husband’s eyes.
He laid me on a downy couch to see what he could find,
And here is what de dredged up from my subconscoius mind:
When I was one, my mommie hid my dollie in a trunk,
And so it follows naturally that I am always drunk.
When I was two, I saw my father kiss the maid one day,
And that is why I suffer now from kleptomania.
At three, I had the feeling of ambivalence towards my brothers,
And so it folllows naturally I poison all my lovers.
But I am happy; now I’ve learned the lesson this has taught;
That everything I do that’s wrong is someone eals’s fault.
Drive the point home, G Twelftree, p 174

Slav Folk Tale

A Slav folk tale tells the story of men who once visited a holy man to ask his advice. “We have done wrong actions,” they said, “and our consciences are troubled. What must we do to be forgiven?”
“Tell me of your wrong doings my sons,” said the old man.
The first man said, “I committed a great and grevious sin.”
“I have done a number of wrong things,” said the second man, “but they are all quite small, and not at all important.”
“Go,” said the holy man, “and bring me a stone for each misdeed.”
The first man staggered back with an enormous boulder. The second cheerfully brought a bag of small pebbles.
“Now,” said the holy man, “go and put them back where you found them.”
The first man shouldered his great rock again, and staggered back to the place from which he had brought it. But the second man could only remember where a very few of his pebbles had lain. He came back saying that the task was too difficult.
“Sins are like those stones,” said the old man. “If a man has committed a great sin, it lies like a heavy stone on his conscience; yet if he is truly sorry, he is forgiven and the load of guilt is taken away. But if a man is constantly doing small things that he knows to be wrong, he does not feel any great load of guilt, and so he is not sorry, and remains a sinner. Do you see, my sons, it is as important to avoid little sins as big ones.”
1500 Illustrations for Preaching & Teaching – Pub Marshall Pickering

Definition of Sin

“Take this rule: whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off your relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself.”
Susanna Wesley – Letter to her son John Wesley – June 8, 1725

Baiting The Hook

In his book, Death by Love: Letters from the Cross (Crossway), Marc Driscoll writes: “You can learn a basic principle of how your enemy works. The great Puritan Thomas Brooks wrote one of my favorite books on spiritual warfare, Precious Remedies against Satan’s Devices. Brooks uses a wonderful illustration that explains why Jesus rejected Satan’s simple offer of bread.

“Brooks says our Enemy will bait our hook with anything we find desirable. This means he will gladly give us sex, money, power, pleasure, fame, fortune and relationships. Satan’s goal is for us to take the bait without seeing the hook, and once the hook is in our mouth he then reels us in to take us captive. His gifts are often very good things offered for sinful uses. He’ll challenge us to examine the gift to ensure its quality. That is the essence of the trap. The gift may be
good, but the giver is evil. In this way, Satan and demons are akin to a pedophile who seeks to entice children into trust with gifts of candy and toys, only to destroy them.

“When we take the gifts Satan and demons give, we are in essence biting down on the bait. As a result, the hook of sin is in our mouth, and Satan reels us in as his captive so that, as Jesus says in John 8:34, we become slaves to our sin.”
Quoted from ‘Preaching Now’ email

Crafty Sheep Conquer Cattle Grid

Hungry sheep on the Yorkshire moors have taught themselves to roll 8ft (3m) across hoof-proof metal cattle grids – and raid villagers’ valley gardens. The crafty animals have also perfected the skill of hurdling 5ft (1.5m) fences and squeezing through 8in (20cm) gaps. They have destroyed several gardens and even graze on the village park, bowling green, cricket field and graveyard. The grids were installed 10 years ago after a gardener in Marsden, near Huddersfield, held stray sheep hostage. Dorothy Lindley, a Conservative councillor in the former textile town on the edge of the Pennine uplands in West Yorkshire, said: “They lie down on their side, or sometimes their back, and just roll over and over the grids until they are clear. “I’ve seen them doing it. It is quite clever but they are a big nuisance to villagers. “They eat plants, flowers and vegetables in gardens. “It is soul destroying. “Registered commoners”, who can claim rights of open grazing going back to medieval times, pasture the sheep on moorland owned by the National Trust. Mrs Lindley added: “What amazes us is they are not frightened. “When you try to move them on they look at you as if to say it is their patch and you are not right in the head. “You can shout at them and even if they see a dog they are not frightened. “Several drivers have had to swerve to avoid hitting the animals and damaged their cars or been given a terrible shock. “What we really need is more fencing to stop them. But they would probably find another way out before long. “They must find more tastier morsels down here.” A National Farmers’ Union spokeswoman in York said: “We have never seen anything like it. “We have looked at ways of improving the situation but it is very difficult. The grids are substantial bits of kit.” A National Sheep Association spokeswoman said: “Sheep are quite intelligent creatures and have more brainpower than people are willing to give them credit for.”
BBC News 30th July 2004: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3938591.stm

Holy Land Tour

A pastor was taking a group of parishioners on a tour of the Holy Land. He had just read them the parable of the good shepherd and was explaining to them that, as they continued their tour, they would see shepherds on the hillsides just as in Jesus’ day.

He wanted to impress the group, so he told them what every good pastor tells his people about shepherds. He described how, in the Holy Land, shepherds always lead their sheep, always walking in front to face dangers, always protecting the sheep by going ahead of them.

He barely got the last word out when, sure enough, they rounded a corner and saw a man and his sheep on the hillside.

There was only one problem: the man wasn’t leading the sheep as the good pastor had said. No, he was behind the sheep and seemed to be chasing them. The pastor turned red.

By Rev. Keenan Kelsey Quoted from www.wfa.org/newsletter/archive/2003/0320_030516/0320_030516.html

Driving Her Rolls Royce

An affluent, aristocratic woman reviews resumes from potential chauffeurs to drive her Rolls Royce. She narrows the applicants to three men and invites them to her palatial home. She escorts each one individually to her driveway and the brick wall beside it. Then she asks, “If you were driving my Rolls, how close do you think you could come to that brick wall without scratching my car?”
The first applicant says, “I can drive within a foot of that wall and not damage your Rolls.”
She brings out the second applicant and asks “If you were driving my Rolls, how close do you think you could come to that brick wall without scratching my car?”
He scratches his head and says, “I can drive within six inches of that wall and not damage your car.”
She invites the third applicant and asks, “If you were driving my Rolls, how close do you think you could come to that brick wall without scratching my car?”
He does not hesitate: “Ma’am, I do not know how close I could come to the wall without damaging your car, but if I was driving your car, I would stay as far away as possible from the wall so as not to damage your car.”
Guess who got the job?
When addressing sexual temptation, the point is not how close one can get to the temptation without getting “scratched,” but staying as far away as possible.
Tim Wilkins’ Cross Ministry