Baptism Goggles
One of the teachers in my congregation cornered me on the way out of the church last Sunday. She was giggling about something that happened the first week of school. She said one of the little boys in her class proudly announced to her that he was being baptized the next Sunday. She told him that was really great, and he told her he was going to take his swim goggles.
She was curious about why the youngster would want to wear his goggles during the Baptism service. When she asked, the boy replied, “So I can see my sins washed away!!!”””
Rev. Dave Smith, St. Paul’s UMC, Harrison, AR on the Sermon Fodder List (www.sermonfodder.com)
Church Growth
Johnny’s mother looked out the window and noticed him “playing church” with their cat. The cat was sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back To the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water. She called out, “Johnny, stop that! The cat’s afraid of water!” Johnny looked up at her and said, “He should have thought about that before he joined my church.”
Why All The Ashes?
I was lucky enough to be in one of Professor Frederick Shriver’s classes at General Seminary just before he retired. Father Shriver is not one to keep his opinions to himself and I especially recall his thoughts about ashes. “You know what I’d do if I were the rector of a church?” he asked our class. “You know what I’d do? I’ll tell you what I’d do. At the end of the Ash Wednesday liturgy, I’d be at the back door with a big washrag. As people left the church, I’d wipe the ashes off their forehead and remind them of the words of our Lord, “Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them” (Matthew 6:1).
Father Shriver had no time for religious pretence or hollow religiosity. His sentiments are profoundly biblical, echoing the preaching of the prophets and the teaching of our Lord. Given this strong criticism of outward piety and given that at Saint Mary’s we will offer ashes all day on March 1, we might well ask ourselves, “Why all the ashes?
Because ashes are a sign, they are a reminder, and ashes are an invitation.
Archaeologists tell us that the people of Israel were not alone in using ashes in rituals of purification. Ashes appear in Phoenician burial art and Arabic expressions. Ashes were a sign of grief, mourning, humiliation and penitence. When Job loses everything, he sits among the ashes. Cursed and overrun by enemies, the Psalmist “eats ashes like bread, and mingles tears with drink.” Ashes are what are left after destruction. After chaos or catastrophe, ashes are what remain.
Ashes also remind us of a common origin. The second chapter of Genesis tells of how we were created from the dust of the ground. Though we may spend our lives trying to distinguish ourselves from others, running after success and trying to feel different from others, the dust and ashes remind us that we are all made of the same stuff. We are reminded not only of our beginning but also of our end. On the First Day of Lent, ashes are imposed with the words, “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” Those words apply to us all.
While ashes may signify and remind, they also invite. They invite us to repentance. They invite us to turn again to God and to receive new life. Isaiah brings glad tidings to the people of Israel, “to give them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning.” Ashes are not the end but are just the beginning. They begin a season that moves us through silence and longing into a season of joy and resurrection.
Sunday, February 26 is the Last Sunday after the Epiphany. The music will be celebrative and the mood joyous. The alleluias will echo for the next few days, until we reach the quiet of Ash Wednesday.
On that day, may the ashes we receive be a sign of our humility and our penitence. May they remind us of our individual sins and the complexity of corporate sin. But more than anything, may the ashes invite us into God’s presence, into God’s love and into God’s gift of new life.
Article from: Angelus On Line Newsletter, St Mary the Virgin Episcopal Church, New York by Father John Beddingfield Quoted from the Anglican Communion News Service
What was it like when Jesus returned to heaven?
Have you ever thought what it was like when Jesus returned to heaven? Maybe it went something like this.
Angel 1 Jesus, it’s wonderful to have you back with us. So, what happens next?
Jesus What do you mean?
Angel 1 Now that you’ve restored the relationship between your Father and his creation by your death on the cross, how is this going to be made known to throughout the world?
Jesus I’ve left that responsibility with my disciples.
All angels You’ve done what?!!!
Jesus When they receive the Holy Spirit they will be empowered to make known my Father’s love to the ends of the earth.
Angel 2 But Peter rushes in where we fear to tread AND he denied you three times!
Angel 3 Matthew was a tax collector and we all know what they’re like!
Angel 4 Simon was a terrorist.
Angel 2 Thomas doesn’t know what he believes!
Angel 4 James, John and Andrew are – just fishermen.
Angel 2 Half the time they didn’t have a clue what you were talking about!
Angel 3 And where were they when you needed them most?!!
Angel 1 So what is plan B?
Jesus There is no plan B.
Angel 1 I don’t believe it!Angels leave, grumbling among themselves.
- Accepting Others, Anger, Christian Character, Covetousness, Criticism, Patience, Perseverance, Sin, Stealing
Cookies At The Airport
A woman was waiting at an airport one night
There were several long hours to wait for her flight.
She hunted for reading in the airport’s gift shop
bought a big bag of cookies — found a place she could drop.She was engrossed in her book, but she happened to see
a man sat beside her — as bold as can be
and grabbed up a cookie from the bag in between
which she tried to ignore — and not make a scene.She munched at her cookies and glanced at the clock
as the masculine cookie-thief diminished her stock!
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by
Thinking, “If I wasn’t a lady, I’d blacken his eye!”With each cookie she took, he took one or two.
With only one left, she watched what he’d do
With a grin on his face, and a nice nervous laugh
He took the last cookie and broke it in half!He offered her half as he munched on the other
She snatched from him and murmured “Oh Brother!
This guy has some nerve, and he’s also quite rude
He never showed even polite gratitude.”She had never known when she had been quite so galled
She smiled with relief when her flight — it was called.
She gathered her stuff and marched to the gate.
(With not even a glance at the thieving ingrate.)She boarded the plane and sank in her seat,
Then sought out her book which was almost complete.
As she reached in her bag, she gasped with surprise,
Her bag of cookies were in front of her eyes!“If mine are right here,” she moaned in despair,
then the others were his and he was trying to share!
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief!Author Valerie Cox – From the book: A 3rd Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul
The Tongue & The Mind
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
Quoted from net153.com email list
Building Bridges
Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch. Then the long collaboration fell apart.
It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.
One morning there was a knock on John’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox. “I’m looking for a few days work” he said. “Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?”
“Yes,” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbor, in fact, it’s my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll go him one better. See that pile of lumber over by the barn? I want you to build me a fence –an 8-foot fence — so I won’t need to see his place anymore. Cool him down, anyhow.”
The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”
The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer’s eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence at
all. It was a bridge — a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work, handrails and all — and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched. “You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.”The two brothers met at the middle of the bridge, taking each other’s hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. “No, wait! Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother.
“I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, “but I have so many more bridges to build.”
Angels and Angles
We were taken into a calssroom in Zambia, It was obvious that the class had been studying geometry. There, on the wall, was a chart all about the properties of angles, but, unfortunately, all the way throuth the chart the teacher had mis-spelt the word ‘angle’, instead he or she had written ‘angel’.
So we discovered that;
90 degrees makes one right angel!
If the angle is less than 90 degrees that is an acute angel!
If the angle is greater than 90 degrees that is an obtuse angel!And then, at the bottom of the chart, it read, ‘and two right angels make half a revolution’!!!!!
That happy accident reminded me that there is some relationship between angels, messengers of God, those on whom the spirit rests, those who are the body of Christ, and revolutions, in the Church, in the community, and in the world.
God takes delight in those who are his sons and daughters. He will drink the fruit of the vine again when they, with him, have anabled the kingdom of God to be seen.
Read Mark and Pray – the URC Prayer Handbook 1992
An Old Preacher Was Dying
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.
When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped
their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their seats.
Finally, the banker said, “Preacher, why did you ask us to come?”
The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, “Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I want to go.”After The Fall
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, “What’s that?” Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”