Bishop Ben Oliphint tells the story of Jose Rodriguez, a bank robber who lived in Mexico, but preferred to rob American banks. In the wild days of the west, Jose would slip across the border into Texas, rob a few banks and flee back into Mexico.
One day, a Texas Ranger caught up with him in a saloon. The Ranger pulled his gun and threatened to shoot Jose if he did not tell him immediately where he had hidden all the money he had stolen. The problem was Jose did not speak English. The Ranger did not speak Spanish, and he kept screaming louder and louder, “I’m gonna blow your head off if you don’t tell me where the money is.”
Finally, a young man came over and offered to translate. “Okay,” said the Ranger, “tell him I want to know where all of that money is or I am going to blow off his head.”
The young fellow translated the Ranger’s words, and Jose said in Spanish, “Tell him not to shoot. The money is in a dry well at the end of town. If he removes the bricks with moss growing on them, he will find a million dollars hidden in the well.”
When Jose was finished, the Ranger said to the young man, “What did he say?” “Oh,” said the translator, “he dares you to shoot.”
Sometimes, it isn’t such a good idea to trust strangers.
“Xenophobia – Fear of Strangers,” by Rev. Michael S. Piazza
Category Archives: Sermon Illustrations
Seaside Wisdom
One Father of the Church, St. Augustine, studied the mystery of the Holy Trinity and although he was at his wits’ end, he still could not comprehend it. One day he was walking on the sandy beach by the ocean. There churned in his mind the mystery of the Holy Trinity. He was talking to himself: “One God, but three Persons. Three Persons–not three Gods but one God. What does it mean? How can it be explained? How can my mind take it in?” And so he was torturing his mind and beating his brains out, when he saw a little boy on the beach. He approached him to see what he was doing.
The child had dug a small hole in the sand. With his little hands he was carrying water from the ocean and was dumping it in the little hole. St. Augustine asked, “What are you doing, my child?” The child replied, “I want to put all of the water of the ocean into this hole.” Once more St. Augustine asked, “But is it possible for all of the water of this great ocean to be contained in this little hole?” And the child asked him in return, “If the water of the ocean cannot be contained in this little hole, then how can the Infinite Trinitarian God be contained in your mind?”
Quoted from www.gocanada.org/Catechism/cathholy.htm
St. Patrick’s Bad Analogies
Queen Victoria and an African chieftain
A wonderful story comes from 19th Century England. According to the account, Queen Victoria was once at a diplomatic reception in London. The guest of honor was an African chieftain. All went well during the meal until, at the end, finger bowls were served. The guest of honor had never seen a British finger bowl, and no one had thought to brief him beforehand about its purpose. So he took the bowl in his two hands, lifted it to his mouth, and drank its contents down!
For an instant there was breathless silence among the British privileged guests, and then they began to whisper to one another. All that stopped, however, when Queen Victoria silently took her finger bowl in her two hands, lifted it, and drank its contents! A moment later 500 surprised British ladies and gentlemen simultaneously drank the contents of their own fingerbowls.
Quoted from groups.yahoo.com/group/itsyourfuture/message/49
What A Difference A Day Makes
On Monday we emailed jokes.
On Tuesday we did not.
On Monday we thought that we were secure.
On Tuesday we learned better.
On Monday we were talking about heroes as being athletes.
On Tuesday we relearned who our heroes are.
On Monday we were irritated that our rebate checks had not arrived.
On Tuesday we gave money away to people we had never met.
On Monday there were people fighting against praying in school.
On Tuesday you would have been hard pressed to find a school where someone was not praying.
On Monday people argued with their kids about picking up their room.
On Tuesday the same people could not get home fast enough to hug their kids.
On Monday people were upset that they had to wait 6 minutes in a fast food line.
On Tuesday people didn’t care about waiting up to 6 hours to give blood to the dying.
On Monday we waved our flags signifying our cultural diversity.
On Tuesday we waved only the American flag.
On Monday there were people trying to separate each other by race, sex, color and creed.
On Tuesday they were all holding hands.
On Monday we were man or woman, black or white, old or young, rich or poor, gay or straight, Christian or non-Christian.
On Tuesday we were Americans.
On Monday politician argued about budget surpluses.
On Tuesday grief stricken they sang “God Bless America”.
On Monday the President was going to Florida to read to children.
On Tuesday he returned to Washington to protect our children.
On Monday we had families.
On Tuesday we had orphans.
On Monday people went to work as usual.
On Tuesday they died.
On Monday people were fighting the 10 commandments on government property.
On Tuesday the same people all said “God help us all” while thinking “Thou Shall Not Kill”.
It is sadly ironic how it takes horrific events to place things into perspective, but it has. The lessons learned this week, the things we have taken for granted, the things that have been forgotten or overlooked, hopefully will never be forgotten again.
Referring to the events on September 11th and quoted from www.dougkershaw.com/html/september_11th.html
How Many Laws?
Somebody once figured out that we have 35 million laws trying to enforce 10 commandments
Time To Shed Some Excess Pounds
An overweight businessman decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning, however, he showed up at work with a gigantic coffee cake. Everyone in the office scolded him, but his smile remained nonetheless. “This is a special coffee cake,” he explained. “I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt it was no accident, so I prayed, ‘Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffee cakes, let there be a parking spot open right in front.’ And sure enough, the eighth time around the block, there it was!”
Iron Eyes Cody
Iron Eyes Cody is a native American actor who once did a TV spot for the Keep America Beautiful campaign. He was an Indian drifting alone in a canoe. As he saw how our waters are being polluted, a single tear rolled down his cheek, telling the whole story. This powerful public service commercial still shows up on TV screens after 17 (now 29) years.
In 1988 Cody repeated an old Indian legend in Guideposts magazine. Here it is: Many years ago, Indian youths would go away in solitude to prepare for manhood. One such youth hiked into a beautiful valley, green with trees, bright with flowers. There he fasted. But on the third day, as he looked up at the surrounding mountains, he noticed one tall rugged peak, capped with dazzling snow. I will test myself against that mountain, he thought. He put on his buffalo-hide shirt, threw his blanket over his shoulders and set off to climb the peak. When he reached the top he stood on the rim of the world. He could see forever, and his heart swelled with pride. Then he heard a rustle at his feet, and looking down, he saw a snake. Before he could move, the snake spoke.
“I am about to die,” said the snake. “It is too cold for me up here and I am freezing. There is no food and I am starving. Put me under your shirt and take me down to the valley.”
“No,” said the youth. “I am forewarned. I know your kind. You are a rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you will bite, and your bite will kill me.”
“Not so,” said the snake. “I will treat you differently. If you do this for me, you will be special. I will not harm you.”
The youth resisted awhile, but this was a very persuasive snake with beautiful markings. At last the youth tucked it under his shirt and carried it down to the valley. There he laid it gently on the grass, when suddenly the snake coiled, rattled, and leapt, biting him on the leg.
“But you promised…” cried the youth.
“You knew what I was when you picked me up.” said the snake as it slithered away.
Bits and Pieces, June, 1990, p. 5-7.
Protection Against Temptation
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain
Keep Your Head Out Of The Fridge!
Mother: What are you doing in the fridge, Willie?
William: Fighting Temptation , Mother.
Quoted from Church Matters by David Pytches