Category Archives: Sermon Illustrations

A Provocative Letter

Preaching

The British Weekly published this provocative letter:

Dear Sir:

It seems ministers feel their sermons are very important and spend a great deal of time preparing them. I have been attending church quite regularly for thirty years, and I have probably heard 3,000 of them. To my consternation, I discovered I cannot remember a single sermon. I wonder if a minister’s time might be more profitably spent on something else.

For weeks a storm of editorial responses ensued … finally ended by this letter:

Dear Sir:

I have been married for thirty years. During that time I have eaten 32,850 meals — mostly my wife’s cooking. Suddenly I have discovered I cannot remember the menu of a single meal. And yet … I have the distinct impression that without them I would have starved to death long ago.

Tulip

Preaching

In a recent interview on the website Breakfast With Fred, Steve Brown (speaker for KeyLife, a prof at Reformed Seminary, and a Preaching Magazine senior consulting editor) explained that, “In my classes at the seminary, I teach a TULIP of communication. The TULIP presupposes the authority of Scripture, understanding doctrine, knowing how to exegete a text. The principles are as follows . . .
T = Therapeutic. ” The communicator must, by necessity, speak to problems with solutions. Like a surgeon, the words may heal or hurt to heal . . . but if there is no healing, then there is no real communication.”
U = Unconventional. “The greatest sin for a communicator is the sin of boring the audience . . . Don’t say it the way everybody else has said it. Don’t say the expected. Don’t fit into anybody else’s mold.”
L = Lucid. “I tell students that a good measurement of their communication skills is this question: If your listeners wanted to take notes, could they? . . . The content may be only one point made by a story . . . but that one point should be clear . . . clear enough so that it would be written down and put into practice.
I = Illustrated. “Stories are very, very important in modern communication. Learn where to find them, how to use them and then use the often . . . ”
P = Passionate. “If you don’t care, nobody else will. If you aren’t excited about what you are going to say, nobody else will be excited. So, if your “hot buttons” are not pushed, don’t try to communicate it to anybody else.” (To read the entire interview, click here.)
Quoted from PreachingNow email list

Grabbing Attention

Preaching

A senior Pastor was advising his young associate on his preaching, and said “When I see members of the congregation nodding off, or looking at their watches, I try to grab their attention by saying something shocking. For example, I might say in the middle of my sermon, ‘Last night I spent the evening in the arms of a married woman . . .’ When I have their attention I add ‘ . . . it was my wife.’”

Sometime later the younger man was preaching, but he could see members in his congregation fidgeting, some yawning and others looking at their watches, so he announced “Last night I spent the evening in the arms of a married woman . . .’ The congregation were rapt. Jaws hung open. Frosty stares came from some of the older members, all of which unnerved the young man, who added ‘ . . . and for the life of me I cannot remember who she was!!”

The Job Of The Teacher

Prayer, Teaching

The following illustration may be American but the same sentiments apply to the UK!
Let me see if I’ve got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning. Not only that, I’m supposed to instil a sense of pride in their ethnicity, behaviourally modify disruptive behaviour, observe them for signs of abuse and T-shirt messages.

I am to fight the war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for guns and raise their self-esteem. I’m to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, how and where to register to vote, how to balance a check book and how to apply for a job.

I am to check their heads occasionally for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of potential antisocial behaviour, offer advice, write letters of recommendation for student employment and scholarships, encourage respect for the cultural diversity of others, and, oh yeah, always make sure that I give the girls in my class 50 percent of my attention.

I’m required by my contract to be working on my own time summer and evenings at my own expense toward advance certification and a master’s degree; and after school, I am to attend committee and faculty meetings and participate in staff development training to maintain my employment status.

I am to be a paragon of virtue larger than life, such that my very presence will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of authority. I am to pledge allegiance to supporting family values, a return to the basics, and to my current administration. I am to incorporate technology into the learning, and monitor all Web sites while providing a personal relationship with each student. I am to decide who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit crimes in school or who is possibly being abused, and I can be sent to jail for not mentioning these suspicions.

I am to make sure all students pass the state and federally mandated testing and all classes, whether or not they attend school on a regular basis or complete any of the work assigned. Plus, I am expected to make sure that all of the students with handicaps are guaranteed a free and equal education, regardless of their mental or physical handicap. I am to communicate frequently with each student’s parent by letter, phone, newsletter and grade card.

I’m to do all of this with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a 45 minute more-or-less plan time and a big smile, all on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps in many states. Is that all?

And you want me to do all of this and expect me NOT TO PRAY?

Quoted from http://www.cybersalt.org Illustrations email list

Have A Nice Day

Prayer

As you got up this morning, I watched you, and hoped you would talk to me, even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or thanking me for something good that happened in your life yesterday. But I noticed you were too busy, trying to find the right outfit to wear.
When you ran around the house getting ready, I knew there would be a few minutes for you to stop and say hello, but you were to busy. At one point you had to wait, fifteen minutes with nothing to do except sit in a chair. Then I saw you spring to your feet. I thought you wanted to talk to me but you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest gossip instead. I watched patiently all day long.
With all your activities I guess you were too busy to say anything to me. I noticed that before lunch you looked around, maybe you felt embarrassed to talk to me, that is why you didn’t bow your head. You glanced three or four tables over and you noticed some of your friends talking to me briefly before they ate, but you didn’t. That’s okay.
There is still more time left, and I hope that you will talk to me yet. You went home and it seems as if you had lots of things to do. After a few of them were done, you turned on the TV. I don’t know if you like TV or not, just about anything goes there and you spend a lot of time each day in front of it not thinking about anything, just enjoying the show. I waited patiently again as you watched the TV and ate your meal, but again you didn’t talk to me.
Bedtime – I guess you felt too tired. After you said goodnight to your family you plopped into bed and fell asleep in no time. That’s okay because you may not realize that I am always there for you. I’ve got patience, more than you will ever know. I even want to teach you how to be patient with others as well.
I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayer or thought or a thankful part of your heart. It is hard to have a one-sided conversation.
Well, you are getting up once again. And once again I will wait, with nothing but love for you. Hoping that today you will give me some time.
Have a nice day! Your friend, GOD

Practice Makes Perfect

Prayer

Rubenstein, the great musician, once said, “If I omit practice one day, I notice it; if two days, my friends notice it’ if three days, the public notice it.” It is the old doctrine, “Practice makes perfect.” We must continue believing, continue praying, continue doing His will. Suppose along any line of art, one should cease practicing, we know what the result will be. If we would only use the same quality of common sense in our religion that we use in our everyday life, we should go on to perfection.

He humbly bowed his balding head and sent aloft a prayer

Prayer

Jake, the rancher, went one day to fix a distant fence.
The wind was cold and gusty and the clouds rolled gray and dense.
As he pounded the last staples in and gathered tools to go,
the temperature had fallen and the snow began to blow.

When he finally reached his pickup, he felt a heavy heart.
From the sound of that ignition, he knew it wouldn’t start.
So Jake did what most of us do if we’d have been there.
He humbly bowed his balding head and sent aloft a prayer.

As he turned the key for the last time, he softly cursed his luck.
They found him three days later, frozen stiff in that old truck.
Now Jake had been around in life and done his share of roamin.
But when he saw Heaven, he was shocked – it looked just like Wyomin.

Of all the saints in Heaven, his favorite was St. Peter.
Now, this line, it ain’t needed but it helps with rhyme and meter.
So they set and talked a minute or two, or maybe it was three.
Nobody was keepin’ score – in Heaven time is free.

“I’ve always heard,” Jake said to Pete, “that God will answer prayers. But
one time I asked for help, well, He, just plain wasn’t there. Does God
answer prayers of some, and ignore the prayers of others? That don’t seem
exactly square – I know all men are brothers.

Or does he randomly reply, without good rhyme or reason?
Maybe, it’s the time of day, the weather or the season.
Now I ain’t trying to act smart, it’s just the way I feel.
And I was wonderin’, could you tell me what the heck’s the deal?”

Peter listened very patiently and when Jake was done,
There were smiles of recognition, and he said, “So, you’re the one!
That day your truck, it wouldn’t start, and you sent your prayer a flying.
You gave us all a real bad time, with hundreds of us a trying.

A thousand angels rushed to check the status of your file.’
But you know, Jake, we hadn’t heard from you in quite a while.
And though all prayers are answered, and God ain’t got no quota.
He didn’t recognize your voice, and started a truck in North Dakota.

I knelt to pray when day was done

Prayer

I knelt to pray when day was done
And prayed, “O Lord, bless everyone,
Lift from each saddened heart the pain
And let the sick be well again.”

And then I woke another day
And carelessly went on my way,
The whole day long I did not try
To wipe a tear from any eye.

I did not try to share the load
Of any brother on the road.
I did not even go to see
The sick man just next door to me.

Yet once again when day was done
I prayed, “O Lord, bless everyone.”
But as I prayed, into my ear
there came a voice that whispered clear,

“Pause now, my son, before you pray.
Whom have you tried to bless today?
Gods sweetest blessing always go
by hands that serve him here below.”

And then I hid my face and cried,
“Forgive me, God, I have not tried,
But let me live another day
and I will live the way I pray.”

– Author unknown

Cyrus Brown’s Prayer

Prayer

“The proper way for man to pray,”
Said Deacon Lemuel Keyes,
“And the only proper attitude,
Is down upon his knees.”

“No, I should say the way to pray,”
Said Reverend Dr. Wise,
“Is standing straight with outstretched arms,
And rapt and upturned eyes.”

“Oh, no, no, no!” said Elder Slow,
“Such posture is too proud;
A man should pray with eyes fast closed,
And head contritely bowed.”

“It seems to me his hands should be
Austerely clasped in front.
With both thumbs pointing toward the ground,”
Said Reverend Dr. Blunt.

“Las’ year I fell in Hodgkin’s well
Head first,” said Cyrus Brown.
“With both my heels a-stickin’ up,
My head a-pointin’ down;

“An’ I made a prayer right then and there;
best prayer I ever said.
The prayin’est prayer I ever prayed,
a standin’ on my head.”

“Cyrus Brown’s Prayer” by Sam Walter Foss