A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

“Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” Explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s mule stumbled. My wife quietly said, ‘That’s once.’ We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. One more my wife quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’ We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead. I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, ‘That’s once.’”

Bob attended a seminar on interpersonal relationships and became convinced that he needed to do a better job of showing appreciation to his wife. So on his way home from work he picked up a dozen long-stem roses and a box of chocolates. He was eager to see how excited his wife would be at this example of appreciation.

As Bob walked in the door with a big grin, he met his wife in the hallway – and she burst into tears.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Bob asked.

“It’s been a terrible day,” she exclaimed. “First, Tommy tried to flush a diaper down the toilet. Then the dishwasher quit working. Sally came home from school with her legs all scratched, and now you come home drunk!”

(from Am I Making Myself Clear? by Terry Felber, Thomas Nelson Publishers)
Quoted from http://www.preaching.com email list

In the art of marriage, the little things are big things….

It’s never being too old to hold hands.
It’s remembering to say “I love you” at least once each day.
It’s never going to sleep angry.
It’s having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together, facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is not only marrying the right partner, but also being the right partner.

Quoted from www.cybersalt.org email list

Witticism 1: Marriages are made in heaven, but so again are thunder and lightning.

Witticism 2: If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Witticism 3: Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Witticism 4: Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Witticism 5: When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Witticism 6: Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Witticism 7: Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Witticism 8: Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and is a good cook, but the law allows only one wife.

Witticism 9: Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical and a considerate lover, but again, the law allows only one
husband.

Witticism 10: Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.